One is the Loneliest Number
by Kyosgirl92
Summary: Kaoru has always done everything for everyone. What happens when his composure breaks one day and he's sent spiraling. Rating subject to change. Warning: Includes violence strong language. More warnings will be added as they come up


Kaoru sat staring out the window. Boss and Hikaru were making fools of themselves yet again normally he'd be right alongside them in whatever game they were playing but the youngest host couldn't be bothered. He was bored with their antics. He was bored by everything and no one seemed to notice that their little group was going to be ripped apart soon. Perhaps not by something so dramatic as people finding out about Haruhi but by something as mundane as graduation. Soon Mori and Honey would be gone and he wondered if they would ever be the same.

This was the beginning of the end and no one saw it. Haruhi's debt was nearly paid off and no matter what Kyoya did it didn't matter she was getting requests like crazy. Soon she'd be out of reach and it would be down to the four of them. Would boss even care for this club if his precious daughter left, would Kyoya want to continue with this frivolous pastime when Boss left and with his final year upon him. He doubted it and it would be back to him and his brother yet again. The carriage would turn back into a pumpkin and they'd fade back into their lonely little world with no one to tell them apart or even care.

"Why are you not with your brother." he heard a soft feminine voice say. He was ruminessing so long the club opened to visitors and his usual sat across from him. "I just think he's so beautiful to watch." Kaoru said with a soft smile. It wasn't usual he did this but he felt himself moving from the submissive role he always played. He wondered if this girl even knew which he was. She was a regular not that he knew her name. Her name didn't matter in this game. She was plan and not from a prominent family. Perhaps he wasn't Kyoya always looking for who would benefit him most but he still paid attention. While Hikaru was the elder brother the family wasn't as strict and if he worked hard enough perhaps he could be the one to inherit and not just be there at the goodwill of his brother.

"Even so I'm glad it's just you and I for once Hikaru." she said making a shiver go up his back. He knew she couldn't. They never could and he was fed up now. Boss said that people would learn but they didn't It'd been two years and no one could tell them apart. Standing up suddenly. "Hikaru you have a customer for you." he said moving away from the girl. Perhaps he was being too sensitive today but it was just frustrating to hear it day in and day out. Kaoru and Hikaru, Hikaru and Kaoru and god forbid he ever be alone thinking. Either they wanted the package deal or they wanted him. He was just fed up with it. Storming into a room he realized it was his classroom. He didn't know why he went there but suddenly he felt safer, calmer. Here it didn't matter who was who. All that mattered was their work.

"Kaoru." he heard the deeper voice it was still feminine though. He still couldn't believe he'd ever believed her to be anything but a woman. Even with the glasses and baggy clothes just one sound of her voice and he could tell why could all those girls not. "Go away Haruhi I want to be alone." he said his hands curling into fists as he looked down feeling the tears gathering in his eyes. Alone like he's always been. Like he always will be because no matter what even with his brother the elder Hitachiin came first. Hikaru, Hikaru, Hikaru it was always Hikaru and Kaoru was the afterthought. He was unnecessary. He was the one to give up everything because he was more adjusted. He understood people and feelings more. He had to make sure Hikaru was happy because that's who he was. He'd never open his world because he had to hold the door for his brother who never would leave without him forcing him. He was the youngest, he was the submissive and yet he was the responsible one.

"Kaoru." Haruhi said again her voice closer now and he could feel the heat of the girl's breath on his back. He couldn't let her see this. She'd think it was a trick to get something from her and right now she was allowed through the door into his world for the briefest of snapshots Hikaru had let her past so Kaoru might have some companionship while his brother hemmed and hawed at the door wondering if it was worth it to go out standing between both worlds and not in either. Never in either. Always leaving him to himself and so if Haruhi saw him if she believed him to trick her like this he'd surely crumble away. His world would be alone and he'd be left in the dark. Blinking his eyes quickly he spectacularly faked a yawn rubbing the tears away and turning around with his usual cheshire grin. "Yes Haruhi." he said with a tilt of his head.

" You rushed out of the club so quickly I was worried about you. What's going on." she said. He could only lie. How could he ever tell anyone the truth. "It was nothing. I was just feeling a bit bored." he said simply. "Kyoya couldn't sway the boss this time could he. Who wants to have a theme on Japanese Gameshows. Only commoners watch those." he said his voice taking on a biting tone. That was it Kaoru push her away. Just as you always have. Just as you always must. She was not yours. She belonged in the sun. She belonged with the Boss or Honey or Hikaru. Not with someone as twisted as he. Haruhi once said Hikaru was 10 percent more evil but even then he knew that was not the truth. Hikaru was loud and abrasive but he was upfront, he was the sun while Kaoru hid his intents in a veneer of smiles and shyness. He was the moon ever coy ever changing silently when you least expected it and yet no one had noticed. Not yet. Perhaps not ever because no one would walk past Hikaru through that door. No one but her and she wouldn't stay when she saw his true face.

"Yeah it is a bit over the top. But you didn't have a problem until that girl called you Hikaru." she said and he winced. How could she be so dense yet so perceptive at the same time. It really pissed him off. "Why would I have a problem with that it's just our beautiful symmetry at work." he said trying to get past the diminutive member but she wasn't letting him. For as small as she was she had far too much spunk for his liking right now. "Haruhi." he growled out his eyes flashing and he saw the small step back. It wasn't fear though. He saw fear when it came to her when thunder crashed. Now it was shock and after a second he realized why. His temper had come to a boil and she'd never seen it. No one but Hikaru had and he knew he had to rain it in. He became destructive he became Honey when the boy was woken early from his nap. The last time he'd still been in elementary school. His mother had called him Hikaru one too many times and he blacked out he just remembered the real Hikaru next to him taking the blame for the kimonos he had ruined. He was close to that tipping point now. It had been building all year since he noticed he was putting himself second and no matter how much he loved his brother for once he wanted to be first. For once he wanted to be recognized. For once he wanted to be more than Hikaru's little brother as if that was his only accomplishment.

Without noticing though he felt her hand grip his lightly and immediately he was on her shoving her against a table forcing his lips against her own his hand going into her soft hair as he lifted her onto the desk. His movements were rough and jerky and he paid no mind to the fact that she'd never kissed a boy. Paid no mind that she was not for him. In this moment she was his. His playtoy. His Haruhi. Pulling back for a breath he opened his eyes looking down at her and shoved her away. He couldn't believe he had done that. Marching back into the room he stood before Kyoya. His shadow king and shoved 100000 yen into the man's hand. It was all he had on him. "I'll get you the rest by tomorrow." he said simply. He saw the Boss and his brother looking at him curiously. "Are you sure Kaoru." the man said the only one understanding what was going on. Kyoya alway knew.

"I'm sure. She's become boring." he said simply. "You all have so I'm not coming in anymore."

Author Notes: This is an unbetad work. I am hoping to add more to it but while watching Ouran and reading the Manga and fanfiction I felt like Kaoru wasn't as represented as I wanted him to be. In this story I hope to take a deeper look at him and what it means to be him. I want to know what you all think especially about his characterization. Review or pm me. This story might get dark before it sees any light. I have not planned it out but this is my first foray into fanfiction in a while. I hope to hear from everyone and I hope you enjoy this read.


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